Wit 'n Humor for the Journey^*

Church signs we've observed*
A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.
Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
Fear knocked. Faith answered. No one was there.
Give God what's right, not what's left.
Give Satan an inch and he'll be a ruler.
God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
God doesn't' want shares of your life; He wants controlling interest!
God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
If God is your Co-pilot - Swap seats!
Nothing ruins the truth like stretching it.
To be almost saved is to be totally lost.
WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.
We're too blessed to be depressed.
Wisdom has two parts: 1) Having a lot to say, 2) Not saying it.
Worry is the darkroom in which "negatives" are developed.
You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.

Baby Boomers - Then and Now*

Then: Long hair.
Now: Longing for hair.

Then: Keg
Now: EKG.

Then: Acid rock
Now: Acid reflux.

Then: Moving to California because it's cool.
Now: Moving to California because it's warm.

Then: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents.
Now: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your kids.

Then: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.
Now: Trying not to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.

Then: Paar.
Now: AARP.

Then: Killer weed.
Now: Weed killer.

Then: The Grateful Dead.
Now: Dr. Kevorkian.

Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint.
Now: Getting a new hip joint. 

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*Used by permission.  The above is taken from  "Wisdom and Wit for the Journey" by Father Scott Seethaler,  Capuchin-Franciscan.  To secure your copy log on to Fr. Scott's website

Timeless Truths
From G. K. Chesterton

"Among the rich you will never find a really generous man even by accident. They may give their money away, but they will never give themselves away; they are egotistic, secretive, dry as old bones. To be smart enough to get all that money you must be dull enough to want it."

Misers get up early in the morning; and burglars, I am informed, get up the night before."

"The act of defending any of the cardinal virtues has today all the exhilaration of a vice."

"Impartiality is a pompous name for indifference, which is an elegant name for ignorance."